Wednesday, April 8, 2009


Relationship without risk is not relationship.  Will I choose to challenge those that have been brought into my life?  Will I choose to live in such a way that draws the deepest parts of people out?  Will I ask questions that could result in pain and frustration?  Will I let people into the depths of my life?  Will I reveal that parts of me that sometimes feel like they are going to eat me alive?  The answers to these questions is not often.  
The motivation of my life is usually fear.  Fear of hurting others and of being hurt.  Fear of abandonment and disapproval.  Fear of never being enough.  So I hold relationships at bay hoping that people won't figure me out.  Hoping they won't see that part of me is a fraud.  The false self comes out to play leaving the true self in the shadows waiting for one shining moment to be revealed.   But when those moments come they bring truth, beauty and love.  Oh how I long to live out those moments at all times.  How I wish my motivation were solely out of love.  Regret would be left to the wind and the air would be filled with passion and extravagance.  
I challenge myself tonight to learn to live out of love and passion, not out of fear.  The kingdom of God is not a kingdom of condemnation but one of love and encouragement.  Our Savior is dripping with love calling out the deepest parts of who I am and I want to live in such a way that points towards him.  Relationships have the most powerful place in my life, my hope is to represent the love of the place Power really comes from.  Perfect love drives out fear.  

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